Day 2 (Monday July 19th-continued even longer)

Muster:
We all met in a group with Ryan (the liaison between all the civilians or NGOs-special interest groups) and the Navy at 5pm. These meetings will forever be referred to as "Muster". (Matya, Marilyn, Sandi in our Muster area the Flag Mass). He told us some of the practices that we would have to acclimate to while being on a military vessel. He also told us that we would not have access to the Internet until tomorrow, nor could we use our cell phones on the ship. We could only go to the flight deck for air if they weren’t involved in flight operations and never after dusk. There are no windows or port holes to see the outside world, no lido deck, and no lounge chairs, bars, casinos...completely void of any extra-curricular activities. This made me more anxious than ever. He then said we were at liberty to take a cab into Miami and suggested that we did as it was nearly 6 pm and the Ward Mess (cafeteria) was closed. A feeling of impending doom has overcome me.

Liberty:
I have quickly developed a core group of friends: Sandi (my guardian angel), Matya, Melissa, and then Susie and Marilyn. They have realized my anxiety (although they continually tell me how funny I am), and are quick to change the subject, crack a joke, or just say "it's going to be an amazing adventure, we're going to experience so much, you're going to be great!" We all went into Miami….and Thank GOD….I could not have handled one more minute secluded in the “steel skin” of that ship. Sandi and I broke off from the others to breath in the hot muggy yet delightful air on the pier at Hard Rock Cafe and ate dinner. Neither of us were able to really eat much (I choked down maybe 5 bites). We had to be back by 10 pm if wanted to be able to see anything and the ship converts to red lights then. Otherwise everyone had to be back on by 2am. We got back at ten and it was a good thing as it was extremely dark. Can not navigate without a flashlight for sure. Shut my arm in my bunk though for sure it was broke. Perhaps I was wishing that as I could go home then…I did contemplate going home many many times since leaving the hotel. Extremely anxious and uncomfortable. The Sandi threw back a couple margaritas….me 50 of Benadryl, a dramamine, and cursed myself from not bringing some of Craig’s old xanax. Got out the Bible Abby gave me. Opened the cover to read with my flashlight and read the inscription she wrote me….heard Craig tell me how proud they all were of me…how he believed in me as he always has…and I silently cried tucked into my bunk praying for my mind to sleep.

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